Tag Archives: aging

Dietary Supplements

Here’s what happens 3 months into quitting gluten, soy, dairy, nightshades, caffeine, sugar, and alcohol: You never have any gas or stomach pains Your previously painful period cramps completely disappear You have regular, perfect poops Your donor gets pregnant It’s … Continue reading

Posted in Donor Egg Fertility Treatments, Donor Egg Process, My Head, Quotable Quotes | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Archetype Casting

For 2012, I had three new year’s resolutions: to do more crosswords, to breathe, and to focus more on integrity than on goal-setting. I only succeeded insofar as I’m still breathing. Because I tend to fail wildly at at these annual vows, … Continue reading

Posted in Donor Egg Process, My Head, Things Past | Tagged , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Future Perfect Tense

I’ve always felt there was something eerie about the state of transition, and in trying to put my finger on it, I realized: it’s not transition that I’m experiencing. It’s suspension. Suspension of time. Suspension of truth. Suspension of breath. All by a … Continue reading

Posted in Donor Egg Fertility Treatments, Donor Egg Process, My Head | Tagged , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

A Funny Thing Happened on My Way to Committing Murder

From the start, I had an “unexplained infertility” diagnosis. Or rather an “unexplained infertility, but we think it’s an egg issue” diagnosis. As in: You can’t get pregnant on your own, but we think it’s an egg issue, so let’s … Continue reading

Posted in Donor Egg Fertility Treatments, Donor Egg Process, Own Egg Fertility Treatments, Things Past | Tagged , , , , , | 15 Comments

Pubic Relations

Today’s conversation with my pussy. Me: So, what? We’re perimenopausal now? Seriously!? We’re only 40! My Pussy: [Inaudible.] Me: No. Not menopause. Don’t say menopause, because first of all, menopause comes later, and second of all, fuck you. My Pussy: [Inaudible.] Me: That’s … Continue reading

Posted in My Head | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

The Late Show

Last week’s conversation with my clinic coordinator. Me: I’m three weeks late, and still nothing. CC: And you’ve taken a pregnancy test? Me: Yes. Two. Both were negative. What do you think it could be? CC: It’s hard to say. We could schedule an … Continue reading

Posted in Donor Egg Fertility Treatments | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments