A conversation at 8 weeks and 1 day.
Me [pointing to my double chin]: Do you see this?
Him: Your gullet?
Me: Just say “yes.”
Me: Do you know what it means?
Him: That you’re fat?
Me: Just say “what?”
Me: It means that we’ve been cooing at my fat.
Him: No, there’s something in there.
Me: What’s in there is the size of a grain of rice. The rest is fat.
Him: I thought it was a blueberry.
Me: Either way, it’s not a cantaloupe.
Him: You never said what you wanted to for dinner.
Me: I told you.
Him: They don’t sell Croissan’wiches at night.
Me: Then mac and cheese.
Him: Are you sure?
Me: Shut up.