A Funny Thing Happened on My Way to Committing Murder

From the start, I had an “unexplained infertility” diagnosis. Or rather an “unexplained infertility, but we think it’s an egg issue” diagnosis. As in:

You can’t get pregnant on your own, but we think it’s an egg issue, so let’s introduce the sperm as close to the egg as possible. Four times.

Nope. Inseminations didn’t work. What else you got?

Boy, that’s strange. But we still think it’s an egg issue, so let’s do IVF and only use embryos that we know will make babies. Three times.

Hmmm. Wrong again. Is there a Plan D?

Really? It didn’t work?? That’s shocking, but as a matter of fact, we do have another idea: because we’re absolutely¬†certain it’s an egg issue, let’s use the eggs of some young woman that you don’t know, fertilize those, and get you pregnant with embryos that aren’t genetically related to you. Two times.

OK. I didn’t love it, but I tried it, and still no dice. So, what’s next? Another donor egg embryo transfer, I assume?

Wait, what?? That didn’t work?!? I guess that means…. You know, it’s kind of a funny thing. Come to think of it, did we say “egg issue?” Because what we really meant is … well, it’s possible that…. It really is funny, if you think about it, because it now appears that you might not have had an egg issue after all. Well, at least not at first, although you certainly do now, because now it’s 5 years later, and you’re really old. But at this point — and when I say funny, what I mean is that you should get ready to laugh because you’re totally going to think this is hilarious when I tell you, but — we now believe it’s been a uterine issue the whole time, and you never could carry a pregnancy in the first place.

Yes. Yes, that is funny.

Now, if you wouldn’t mind holding my drink while I shoot you…


About TG

My eggs don't work, so I manifested a baby via egg donation. Let's blog and see what happens.
This entry was posted in Donor Egg Fertility Treatments, Donor Egg Process, Own Egg Fertility Treatments, Things Past and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to A Funny Thing Happened on My Way to Committing Murder

  1. shewithrotteneggs says:

    Did they really tell you now that it’s a uterine issue???? Did they say what they think that issue might be?


    • TG says:

      Crazy, right? Apparently the odds of getting pregnant after 2 failed DE cycles isn’t great. That combined with my never having conceived at all makes them suspect it’s my uterus – but not sure exactly what. I’ll know more this week.

      Thanks so much as always for your support.


  2. shewithrotteneggs says:

    I just have to say that I am angry on your behalf.


  3. raymond1905 says:

    WHAT????? I am so so so upset about this! I can’t imagine. My thoughts are with you…keep us posted.


  4. enhancedmama says:

    That’s shitty of them. Does this mean you can use your eggs and a surrogate?


  5. enhancedmama says:

    :( Don’t loose hope. I’ve known a few women who were surrogates out of their goodness of their hearts for nothing more than the medical coverage needed. If it’s money that’s the problem, it’s an obstacle, but not a road block. I’d offer to do it myself, but I have an incompetent cervix. Which isn’t a huge issue since I have 3 healthy children, but it does mean I have to be sewn shut and declared untouchable for the whole 9 months so my husband vetoed the surrogate thing.


    • TG says:

      You’re so great, EM. Money is a part of it, and it’s good to hear that that wouldn’t necessarily be a deal-breaker. But really, I would probably only do the surrogacy thing if it were my eggs, since my husband’s genes aren’t important to us. And the point of using an egg donor was to carry the pregnancy. As it stands, if I don’t get to use my egg or experience the pregnancy, it makes more sense for us to go the adoption route.

      In other news, I’m sorry that you won’t be able to be a surrogate, since I know you were looking forward to that. Also, selfishly speaking, I was looking forward to hearing tales of your belly growing — followed by tales of your boobs growing!

      Thanks for staying in touch with me. I really appreciate the support.
      TG xo


  6. Honestly! And to put you through all of that!
    These docs kill me sometimes.


  7. linda kingston says:

    have you considered the ethical issues of this process?
    egg donation can cause very serious even fatal side-effects for the egg donor?
    how would you feel if that happened to your egg donor?
    there are serious ethical concerns with ART. please check out the website www.****.org to learn more


    • TG says:

      I did consider the ethical issues. Somehow my donor survived. Thanks for your concern.


    • Oh Linda….Everything in this world is a risk, you know? I mean for cryingoutloud eating peanut butter can cause cancer, using a cell phone can cause a brain tumor, hot tubs and bicycle shorts can wreck sperm. What we know about egg donation is that it doesn’t cause any long term effects. Our oldest egg donors now are in their mid 50’s – many of them with children of their own, with intact uterus’s, breasts, and ovaries.

      I think what bothers me most about your post is how fucking insensitive you are. This woman is being extremely vulnerable in talking about her own infertility struggles and instead of doing the right thing and supporting her, telling her you are sorry to learn of her struggles, and that you can hear the pain and frustration in her voice you go on with your own agenda.


      Please go fear monger elsewhere. I mean really.


  8. Jessica says:

    Hello – I just came across your blog and feel SO bad for you. I’m (theoretically) starting IVF/ICSI with egg donation next month. Already everything that can go wrong has, and it’s been such a frustrating, soul-sucking endeavor. I can’t imagine going through what you’ve gone through and now getting this news. Awful. I hope it’s not a situation where they call you tomorrow and say, “Oh, hahaha, we were just looking at ANOTHER infertile’s chart. Your eggs are still bad.” I feel like my diagnoses get changed from one thing back to the original thing constantly. Be strong. You have support. I’ll be thinking of you.


    • Sandra says:

      I can’t believe it. I’m so heartbroken for you. Horrible! I have not tried donor eggs but my situation is a bit like yours in that I have never been pregnant even after 5 IVF’s with chromosomal normal embryos (although you were a little pregnant once)… anyway, have you checked for immune issues attacking the embryos? NK cells for example? Have you checked for beta 3 integrin protein, even though there is some controversy, some think it’s a valid test, some don’t. Just throwing it out there… I had no symptoms of endometriosis and against my RE’s will, I had a laparoscopy done, even though he assured me I didn’t have endo, and it turned out that I did have it, endo can also cause implantation issues. Just throwing it out there. None of this things have given me an answer but some have had luck with it.

      So sorry you are going through this. And sorry for the unsolicited advice. xo


  9. Pingback: Second Helpings | A Chick and Eggs

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