A daily jounal since last week’s transfer:
Tues, June 12 – Transfer Day: First day of bed rest. Sneezed and panicked. After reading that a PVEDer still got pregnant after puking the entire day after transfer, I felt better. Then N got excited that my stomach already looked to have a baby bump. Declined a fourth piece of lasagna.
Weds, June 13: Second day of bed rest. Boredom plus the Internet equaled panic that my 6.3mm uterine lining was going to fail me. Wrote a worried email to my nurse at 9:58pm. By 10:26, I was pissed that she hadn’t yet written me back. At 11:02, I sent myself to bed for having a bad attitude.
Thurs, June 14: Bed rest officially over. My joy at being vertical was offset by my grief that this cycle is going to be a failure. And no, this wasn’t negativity; it was pragmatism. Also, global climate change is going to destroy the world, so whatever.
Fri, June 15: Reread an email from my nurse who stressed that a lining above 6mm is all they need, especially when my other numbers were good. Decided that I could be pregnant after all. Then I took a long walk, which I’m sure caused a miscarriage.
Sat, June 16: My boobs hurt, I have cramps, and I’m exhausted, which obviously means means I’m getting my period. Or that I’m obviously pregnant. Rinse. Repeat.
Sun, June 17: Spent the last 6 months promising myself that I wouldn’t obsessively take home pregnancy tests before my beta on Thursday. Went out this morning and bought 3 home pregnancy tests. My new promise is that I won’t test until Wednesday. No, Tuesday. Or maybe Monday. No, Tuesday. Yes, Tuesday. Or maybe Monday.
Yup. This is going well.